I have teamed up with a wonderful team of bloggers who participate in “Five Minute Friday.” Here’s the skinny: Every Friday for nearly four years hundreds of people joined a kind of writing flash mob. We write for five minutes flat. All on the same prompt that is posted by the the team starting at 10pm EST on Thursday night and all through Friday. And we connect on Twitter with the hashtag #FMFParty (It stands for Five Minute Friday Party). No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
Today’s word: Now.
“Seize the moment,” they say… For the moments pass us. “They grow up fast,” they say…. As I, in the trenches of the early years, am threatened to lose myself to their constant need and worry and uncertainty that I’ll survive. “Never go to bed angry,” they say… Because they don’t know the burdens that are on my heart as my head hits the pillow at night.
For me, it took time to get here. It took a changed perspective and mindful planning and worrisome prayer to arrive here. To allow me to realize just how important “NOW” really is.
I’ve said goodbye to earthly beings that were my support. I’ve watched innocent babies lose their lives because of medical atrocities in their bodies that modern day science couldn’t fix. I’ve watched tragedy strike – both far away and in my own circle of life. I’ve watched my babies grow from infancy to young children, and am seeing the threat of them soon growing beyond that. I remember fondly when that reality was so far out of reach, that I couldn’t fathom it. Something inside of my brain changes at the thought, and something inside of my heart aches. I was too busy living in the now of my daily struggles, that I didn’t take time to embrace the beautiful now that surfaces in the midst.
This is a transitional year for my family. One that we have made sacrifices for, and major life changes, in order to better serve our family’s needs. We have intentionally tried to accept the challenge of living in the now. While sometimes we struggle, we ultimately hope we will come out better for our decisions.
Now, my young kids need a mom who will read in silly voices and sit at a toddler sized table to receive a buffet of plastic food. Now, my husband needs a wife who will remain calm and patient in her everyday interactions, as to serve a good example for our littles. Now, my friends and family need a positive presence to overcome the jaded sarcasm that I’ve grown accustomed to.
I’ve learned to stop saying “someday” and “that is a goal.” Instead of bucket lists and schedules, I try everything in my power to live. Now.
It doesn’t always happen. But I try. Now is where I want to be.
Please consider joining the Five Minute Friday community and today’s prompt: LISTEN. All are welcome!