How I got my kids to stop fighting, er, I mean fight less

The fighting. The bickering. The yelling. The screaming. The name calling. The pushing. The hitting.


The more the kids fight with one another, the more I yell as a mom. The more the kids gang up on each other, the bigger the defeat that I feel as my head hits the pillow at night. Enough is enough. I can no longer complain, nag, yell, fret, google “how to NOT raise an A-hole,” and scream at my husband because my kids can’t figure out how to get along.

As an educator, I find myself baffled that I can wrangle 25 students at a time for a full school day, but when it comes to my own three off-spring, I want to curl up in the fetal position and play dead. Maybe it’s the overwhelming disappointment that THEIR actions are a reflection of MY wrongs in life. Maybe it’s  the acknowledgement that despite your best efforts, you really can’t dictate every word or action that comes from their little bodies. And really, would you want to??

Here was me saying, “Hey, at least I’m trying as a parent!”

The premise: We have a Team Walker jar that begins empty and slowly gets filled with puff balls. Puff balls represent kind words, happy hearts, sharing attitudes, independently troubleshooting problems, etc. Before we can start filling our Team Walker jar with praise, we need to work TOGETHER to decide a goal. As you can see from the pictures below, the first goal was simple: Cold Stone Creamery. Yum. Who wouldn’t want to be on their best behavior for an ice cream treat?? Even I wanted to be caught doing good knowing that was the reward! Our first goal was met with enthusiasm and teamwork.

After week one, I can confidently say that all fighting has been eradicated from our home the fighting is tapering off and I’m seeing slow but steady signs of improvement.

Next goal: A 500% raise in weekly allowance. (At $1/ week for weekly allowance, this is a great goal!)


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2 Responses

  1. kiwinana says:

    I enjoyed your post very much, would you believe it the kids never stop bickering with each other, it goes on even when they are in the forties and fifties, then mom gets blamed for why they are fighting.
    So enjoy life the best your can, you can only stop listening to them when they are older.

    • April says:

      Don’t tell me that!! I want to think that the kids will outgrow all of this silly fighting at some point. Grrrrr!

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