Three Blind Mice

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Getting your eyes dilated is never great. The odd blurriness, the inability to drive, the wait time before it all gets better. Want to know what’s even worse? Taking three kids under the age of 6 to have their eyes dilated…. After a full day of school/ daycare when they are exhausted… During dinner time… And having the appointment wrap up well after bedtime. EEEEEEK. What were we thinking?? We sat in the waiting room slowly waiting for the effects of the dilation drops to take affect and as they did, we watched in awe as our 1, 4 & 6 year olds slowly slid into a psychedelic haze. B started looking around with wide eyes like he was batting away imaginary bubbles, M began a slow chant of “I can’t see. I can’t see. I can’t see.” which she looped on repeat for the next 60 minutes. Non-stop. G, our precious 1 year old, was so disoriented and confused that she just rolled her head back, tightly closed her eyes and SCREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMED. For an hour. A solid hour.

Did I mention this was at the end of a full day of work? Did I mention this was during dinner time? Did I mention this mama didn’t have a stash of vino anywhere?? Tragedy is the only way I can think to describe what was slowly unfolding in my life.

To help multiply my stress by a million, the receptionist took zero caution in hiding her judgement of our parenting – or what she felt was a lack of parenting. Instead of awkwardly asking about the weather or pretending that she didn’t notice my off kilter children, she thought it would helpful to ask, “So you probably don’t get to travel with the kids then, huh?” Excuse me?? The fact that she was irritatingly asking about my travel plans leads me to believe her thoughts were on getting a one-way ticket away from my children. When my husband left mid-appointment to bring back McDonalds for the kids to eat in the parking lot, I thought the lady was literally going to lose her lunch. Her exact words were, “My kids have never actually eaten there.” What she meant was, “Anyone that loves their children wouldn’t put that bile excuse of food particles in front of their offspring as a choice.”

Loud and clear, lady. Loud and clear. Now give my kids their shades so we can take our nuggets and our wigged out brains outta here. Peace out.

 

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